He makes my heart sing.

I think my Husband's the best. He can make my heart sing like no other. {Honest moment: it's not always loving perfection in our house. Nope. Not always lovey dovey moments in this marriage}. 

But, that still doesn't stop me from writing and relishing the times when the efforts of our love abound.

So, in light of that. Here's a few things that make my heart happy he chose me today:

One. Today he wrote me a love letter. A poem. Of how much he cherishes me.

Two. Yesterday, when I told him I felt a little disconnected from him, he asked if he could take me out for breakfast. So we could connect. Talk. Listen. So we did. And it was good. He's my favorite breakfast partner.

Three. He knows I like gifts. He bought me a vintage "Little Women" book. 

Four. He prays for me. 

Five. He loves me through my faults. Yep. He does. Talks me through all my anxious and stress filled thoughts.

Thanks for loving me!

Oh yah, and he's handsome to boot!

p.s. still going strong with #shereadstruth. I'm LOVING the community. Have you joined yet?

Me + Bees = not the bestest of friends.

Last night I totally pulled a spoiled little girl routine. Let me set the scene for you.

me. sitting on the couch. spending my evening on the phone with the ever so helpful mastercard man. he's being very gracious with me as I ask about every transaction I've spent in the last month {we're becoming good friends real quick as his ever growing knowledge of my spending habits is making me feel very connected to him}.

Here's how it went down:

Ever so helpful MC man: "May 7th $74.56 Cactus Club. May 8th $4.50 Starbucks. May 9th ..." {ok. does it really matter. I spent money}.
Me: "Yep. that sounds 'bout right. All me. Hey what about that...Wah! There's a bee in my house."
Ever so helpful MC man: "I'm sorry. What purchase are you referring to?"
Me: "No. There's a bee in my house. It's flying around. It's coming towar...ah. I have to go."
Ever so helpful MC man: "Alright. I'm not too sure I can help you with that."
Me: "I didn't think so. I have to go...ahh. It's coming towards meeeee..."

Next scene.
Me dashing up the stairs huffing and puffing while ever so helpful MC man remains confused.

Me: "I have to go. There's like a real bee {as opposed to a fake one? hindsight clarity now setting in} flying around my house and it's attacking me."
Ever so helpful MC man: "Alright. Is that everything thing? Have I been able to help yo..."
Me: "Yes. Tha. Bye. I'll call ba...." Click.

Conversation ends with not much dignity left. Fair enough though. I mean, I was being attacked after all. Ok. Not really. But the mere presence of a bee makes me feel like I'm on the brink of an impending attack.

My next phone call shows my embarrassing little girl antics.

Me: "Mom. Is Dad there? It's an emergency {again. hind sight clarity}."
Super Mom: "Oh dear. What is it? Dad's sleeping."
Me: "Mom. I need you. There's a bee. Like a real bee in my house and I'm sitting on my stairs shaking. Adam's at work and I can't move."
Super Mom: "I'll be there in 2 minutes."

Super Mom to the rescue. She walks in and kills my attacker in two minutes. Have I told you yet that she's the bestest. Here's Super Mom and her handsome love.

Sharalee Prang Photography

Lesson learnt today? I'm not entirely sure I should have an adult status. I also learnt that I'm not sure I know how human I am in comparison to an insect. Human capabilities epic fail.

xoxo

She Reads Truth.

If there's one thing I seek more than anything it's to be more disciplined in my faith. But if you knew me. Like really knew me, you'd know that there's one thing I fail at more than anything else.

And that's being disciplined in faith forming habits.

I ache for accountability. Marriage has been a blessing in this regard. But it's still not perfect. I guess accountability isn't always perfect either. It can cause division. pain. hurt and just simply a perpetuating in a community of sin where no one feels they can challenge one another. But despite the difficulty of nurturing accountability - we still need it. and i still seek it out {Hebrews 5:23-25}.

And so with the encouragement of my husband I decided to join in with some amazing women spanning across the blogosphere in hopes that our collected desire to be in His Word daily would be an avenue of encouragement. accountability. and sharing what we learn in His Word. It's an online community {how social media savvy am I, right?}.

Anyways, I'm starting a few days behind (day 5 of 31) but instead of letting that discourage me I decided to jump in regardless.

And I'm inviting you! You're welcome.

We're reading the Soul Detox bible reading plan on the You Version Bible reading app. You can get it on your iphone, ipod, or just online. It's pretty simple. Then, after reading each day we're tweeting, instagramming, and sharing our insights with the hashtag #SheReadsTruth {confession: i didn't know what a hashtag was until a few months ago. i guess i'm not so social media savvy afterall}. Anyways, it's just that easy! Read Kacia's post on how it all began.

Let the accountability begin.

xox

I'm giving up on good.

I'm linking up with Hayley over at Tiny twig and Jessi at naptime diaries. Their life giving posts resonated with me this week and I just had to join in this blog series with them. 

Hailey writes, "Instead of perpetuating the lie that you have to do it all well, all early, all efficient - what if we spoke life to one another and imparted grace to one another by waving our white flags and admitting the good things we've walked away from to pursue the better things. The things that are right for us? What if we had a little weekly linkup and you could share one or two things each week that you've given up on. Because you know you can serve your family, the Lord, or just keep a sense of peace by focusing your time, energy, talent, resources where He wants it to be."

I couldn't agree more, friend.
So that's what I'm doing. I'm giving up on good for less fuss. So I may find an opportunity to do more for Him with more resources. So that I can create an opportunity of freedom for me.

But where to begin? Where to start? Well, the first place I checked in with was the husband. I think he has a better perspective on me than I do myself sometimes. I thought he'd be a good candidate to tell me what aspect of giving up on good I could focus on for this first post.

So I ask. 
He says, "pinterest."

I say, "come again?" 
He repeats, "pinterest. you spend a good amount of time on it each night. perhaps you could do something more productive with your time."
I say {a little annoyed}, "yah, i think you're missing the point here ever so gracious Husband. and really, i mean you know that's not gonna happen."
He tries again, "making the bed each morning."
I say, "alright, now you're really missing the point."

but you know what. I'm not too sure he was. I mean, sure, I'm still gonna go on Pinterest. And really, the bed will be made each morning {ok expect for this past weekend. see previous post here for that dirty laundry airing}. But this was one of those times that I effectively read between the lines. 

And I heard him.

I heard truth.

the truth which is the fact that I have, perhaps, an unhealthy over the top expectation of myself. An expectations that I have to have everything pulled together all.of.the.time. wardrobe. hair. house. bed. car. office. kitchen. perfect instagram photos. the list goes on. Every morning the house gets cleaned before we leave for work. Every night the house gets tidied before we go to bed.

Really, truly. It can be exhausting trying to maintain this pulled together front. 

And for who?

For a facade, an identity of how I want people to see me.

Perhaps.

I don't want this to be the case, though.

here's evidence of a series of failed instagram photos that never got posted because the Husband refused to pose for a perfect shot. 

Now don't misunderstand me. This is not to say I'll stop making the bed each morning. Or caring to pull together a new outfit fit for each day. Or decorating the house every so pretty. I enjoy these things. They can be life-giving {can being the emphasis here}. But the goal of it has changed.

Because I lose the life giving aspect of it when I do it for the praise and acclamation of it. I loose the joy of it when I have to say no to friends coming over cause the house isn't pinterest worthy. I loose the joy in it when I upset the Husband each time we're late because I have to put the kitchen in order before we leave.

I can't do it all. That's my confession.

So, I'm giving up on good so I can free myself from holding onto an expectation I just can't keep up with. I'm giving up on good so that my identity won't be muddled in the expectation of perfection but rather an identity in Christ. Imperfect but held together in Him.

Well, ok, and if not for that, then why not start accepting the eventual reality that things won't always be pulled together once this family grows.

And you know what, friends? I think I'm not alone in this. Perhaps you can't do it all either. If you're anything like me then I invite you to join me in this post series. Talk about it. Blog about it. 

I'm looking forward to hearing what you come up with and knowing that I'm not alone in this.

xoxo

my dirty little secret...exposed.

Yesterday I did something I NEVER do. The Husband can defs vouch for this.
I left the house {drum roll please}...
...without...
...making the bed. That's right. Pillows tossed. Blanket in a bunch. Sheets in a tangle.
Oh the madness of it all.

pancakes + syrup + handsome husband = a goooood morning.

I've been in a funk mood as of late. Why? Well I don't really know. Let's blame it on the hormones. They can never argue back. It's a no brainer for them to get the blame for mood swings. So we blame lots on them {we being woman. you know it's true. and justified really.}

Well unfortunately for you, my ever faithful readers, this funk mood reflected itself in this here blog.

But things are a-changing around here. Why?
Here are a four good fatty reasons why things are on the up and up.

ONE. Yesterday I wore peach pants. peach pants friends. more than enough reason to make me happy.
TWO. This morning the Husband took me out to breakfast {bless his heart}. I ordered a healthy meal {ok. sort of. the eggs were healthy. the hollandaise sauce not so much}. I ordered this so that I wouldn't feel so bad eating his syrup drenched pancakes. oh S.O. G.O.O.D. I love you Husband.
THREE. Yesterday that fine handsom man of mine let me go shopping. And he uttered a few ever so sweet words that made my heart sing as I was heading out the door. "Hey, buy me some clothes too won't you?" Say what? It doesn't just have to be window shopping? like woah. major woah! Let's just say the good ol' credit card got dusted off yesterday. Thanks for tickling my heart strings Husband {even though i'm quite aware of it pettiness and foolishness}.
FOUR. Your's Truly got a bang trim this morning. That's right, bangs. Our week long fight ended with a victory. My victory...see you again in a month...
FIVE. Tonight is D.A.T.E. night and I'm craving a night of NO Cooking and fatty sugary craving satisfying desserts {insert mouth watering}.

So there you have it. Five mood changing blessings.

xoxo

A weekend according to instagram.

Another week gone. Another weekend upon us. 

This one brought with it a much lighter heart...

...and bare legs. 

That's right. The sun has decided to warm this little corner of Canada. 

Bless you sun.

bare legs.

don't mind the glaring whiteness of them.

mint mani. 

park dates...

          ...loads of park days...                            (more pics to follow)                                                                       oh. hey. why don't you follow me? Just click 'join this site' to your left. Then you'll be able to find out when I update my posts.

Thank you Lord for your grace that was and is new each morning.

xox

an unexpected turn of events.

this past weekend was an emotional roller coaster. one i wasn't ready to hop on. or perhaps, hop off. it all happened so suddenly. i'm not sure i know how to process it. i have found such comfort reading the stories of some of my favorite bloggers going through like seasons. they were so genuine. so honest. so authentic. it helps to know i'm not alone. when I'm ready i'll share it here, with you. i want to be as genuine about this as they have been. perhaps my story can make someone else feel like they're not alone.
but until then, my heart is healing. 

it's been a tough few days.
but i know that my God is with me.
and i know His desire is that i would bring glory to His name.
my prayer is that this momentary heavy heart would do just that.

prior to this weekend happening, i had planned to post about "the 10 things that tickle my heart" when i realized that the top three things on that list were my support and comfort on this heavy heart weekend. so instead, here's this weekend via iphone.

If only a bicycle could speak.

This bicycle has a history. On one of the first dates Adam and I had together he rolled into the park on this fancy vintage bicycle. His bike. He loved this bicycle.

I took one look at it and said. "That's my dad's bicycle."

He said, "No. It's mine."

I said "Yah now. But it was my Dad's 20 years ago. This bicycle has my growing up years written all over it {even the scratches on the handle bars from when my sister wiped out." You see I grew up on this bicycle. We pulled wagons behind it. We put our dolls in the back rack as to pretend it was their car seat. My dad and his girls went on many bicycle rides together with this bicycle. It's my history," I said.

And now, it was Adam's. He had purchased it a couple years back. Perhaps even from us {we did grow up only a few blocks from each other, so really, it's possible}.

I like that this bicycle has a history. 

My history.

Adam's history.

And now, our future. 

patience...not my strong suit.

I never said that I was a patient person. In fact. I'm very much not.

It's a trait about myself I don't much care for. But, the reality is that waiting for something. for anything. for a big thing. for little thing. makes me go crazy.

It appears. however. that this is the season the Husband and I find ourselves right smack dab in the middle of it. Funny how God works in that way. My patience in this season is being tested. Majorly.

Somedays I'm failing.

Somedays I'm barely hanging on.

Somedays a glimmer of an answer comes through...

...only to find the next day I'm right back in the waiting season.

Do you ever have this fight with yourself? 

It's a fight against an ache for an immediate answer.

An immediate relief. 

An immediate response.

An immediate paycheque.

An immediate encouragement.

An immediate answer to prayer.

It's a fight that makes me doubt the provision of a faithful God. I hate this.

It's a fight that makes me want to give up. 

It's a fight that tempts me to want to ask the Husband to give up his dreams and passions.

It's an unfair fight. 

Patience. come find me.